Coming Attractions: August 2011

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(re-posted from Leprechaun 5 Coming Attractions)

If Netflix streaming doesn’t rip them from my grasp, full play-by-play reviews of:
Mega Piranhas: starring Tiffany. YES, that Tiffany. Plus, Greg Brady as the m-fucking Secretary of State.
Mega Python vs. Gatoroid: starring DEBBIE GIBSON AND TIFFANY. Oh yes. Somehow you knew that the only thing missing from those mall concerts back in the day was IMMINENT DOOM WROUGHT BY GIANT CGI REPTILIAN CREATURES.

Leprechaun 5: In the Hood

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COMING ATTRACTIONS: (what, this is a movie blog)

If Netflix streaming doesn’t rip them from my grasp, full play-by-play reviews of:
Mega Piranhas: starring Tiffany. YES, that Tiffany. Plus, Greg Brady as the m-fucking Secretary of State.
Mega Python vs. Gatoroid: starring DEBBIE GIBSON AND TIFFANY. Oh yes. Somehow you knew that the only thing missing from those mall concerts back in the day was IMMINENT DOOM WROUGHT BY GIANT CGI REPTILIAN CREATURES.

And now, sit back, silence your cell phones (or don’t) and enjoy the show, because I certainly did not.

Leprechaun 5: In the Hood
Rating: R
Running Time: 90 min
Released in 2000
Starring: Ice-T who was plenty old enough to know better, Warwick Davis

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Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

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I know I tentatively announced a review of Leprechaun 5: In the Hood, but my power was out for most of the week so I feel I deserve a treat. I physically and mentally do not have the reserves to deal with thug leprechauns today, sorry.

The entirety of my gainful adult employment has been spent amongst scientists and software developers. This means I have had knowledge of the Sci-Fi channel (or SyFy or whatever ridiculous re-branding they may have attempted since my divorce from cable tv) nearly from its inception. Watercooler conversations about Battlestar Galactica and Stargate: Atlantis and whatever else were absolutely unavoidable. I have never managed to get fully into any of those shows, but Sci-Fi will always hold a special place in my heart for airing super-ridiculous movies like Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.

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Intro

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My latest idea to waste some space on the internet is to review bad movies.   This combines three activities I enjoy: watching bad movies in the hopes they tip the scales over into awesome, snarking, and writing.  I make no pretense of being educated in film.  I will not be discussing expositions or denouements or cinematography (unless any of these are particularly bad) so if you want intelligent film critique, this will never be it.  I hope to entertain myself and if 3-7 of my closest friends are also entertained, I will consider this a success.  Ish.

I am new to wordpress so please forgive my startup hiccups.  And if you can’t, well then get bent.  No, just jokes!  But seriously, why do you care?

My first review will be coming probably this weekend.  We will be visiting the movie Zardoz, starring (for some reason) Sean Connery.

Until then, toodles!