Mega Python vs. Gatoroid Part 3

0

So I left all 7 of you hanging in the middle of the dumbest catfight since Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff got into it over that tool, Aaron Carter.  (<- this is why I can’t learn new things – inappropriate memory allocation)  Debs and Tiffy have just thrown each other into the water, Sidekick has likely gotten eaten by gator or python or both and Cruz from Santa Barbara is cursing the day he let Oprah validate him as a totally useful resource in the Care and Handling of RidonkoBeasts.

Continue reading

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid Part 2

0

When last we left our Has-Been Bubblegum Pop Icons, they were careening towards a cinematic showdown with Tiffy on the side of the gators and Debs firmly on Team Python.  (Yes, that probably was written on a public restroom wall about her.  Just remember, folks, who among you can really cast the first stone there, glass houses, etc etc).  Will Cruz from Santa Barbara come to break up the inept bitchery?  Let’s find out!

Continue reading

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid Part 1

0

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid
Rating: Come on y’all, this is straight-to-TV
Running Time: 90 min
Unleashed upon the world in 2011
Starring: DEBORAH GIBSON. TIFFANY. AND OH SHIT THEY GOT CRUZ FROM SANTA BARBARA

Now, if you’ve read my synopsis of Mega Piranha, you know this is a battle I had hoped that Tiffany would lose and lose hard.  But mere minutes into the movie I was hoping for both these numbnuts to get eaten by any given giant creature available.  So did they?  This here is the best way to find out.  Let’s hit it!

Continue reading

Coming Attractions: August 2011

1

(re-posted from Leprechaun 5 Coming Attractions)

If Netflix streaming doesn’t rip them from my grasp, full play-by-play reviews of:
Mega Piranhas: starring Tiffany. YES, that Tiffany. Plus, Greg Brady as the m-fucking Secretary of State.
Mega Python vs. Gatoroid: starring DEBBIE GIBSON AND TIFFANY. Oh yes. Somehow you knew that the only thing missing from those mall concerts back in the day was IMMINENT DOOM WROUGHT BY GIANT CGI REPTILIAN CREATURES.